Traffic Lights - the Girl's Responsibility

You think this post is about you, don't you. Well it's not.

Here in the raging sea of hormones, aka Happy Valley, life is rife with boy-girl interaction. I have mentioned this before. And yet, another hitch in the relationship world has reared its ugly head, so I feel compelled to share a new principle, in hopes we can remedy the problem.

This is a little development on the "Getting Friended" principle, applicable to girls who are already semi-committed to a relationship. The theory: the Traffic Light Principle.

Observe:


Now let's break this down - there's lots of traffic lights out there, but they all have something in common: just three colors for their lights. Red, yellow, and green. Then, if you look closely in the picture, you'll spy just one little dude trying to navigate this sea of traffic lights.

You, girls, are the traffic lights. You have but one job: show us a red or green light. And if you're gonna choose the yellow one, that's okay - but follow the example of real traffic lights, and don't get stuck on the yellow for long. That is frustrating to boys.

So anyways, what I'm saying is this: if you like a boy, give him a green light. He will slowly and cautiously proceed forward - attempting to woo you, give you flowers, chocolates, a barbie, etc. - until you change signals. If it's a red light, we understand. We'll bail. We can find love elsewhere.

If it's a yellow light, we'll hang out for a while, but just realize that during the entirety of the "flashing yellow light" stage, we feel like our head is on the chopping block. Girls, have mercy. Give a signal. And whatever you do... don't do this:



Boys can only think of one thing at once. If you tell us to simultaneously go ahead and stop, turn left and turn right, walk and halt, all at the same time, our little heads are likely to implode.

So there you have it - the traffic light principle.
Learn it, live it, love it.