1.19.2009

The Elephant in the Room

Hahaha. I'm such a boy.

So I have a little theory about awkward situations. It's called "the elephant in the room." Let me explain it:

In some social situations, people are talking about something, but thinking about something else that is sometimes painfully obvious... and yet nobody brings it up. It's like having an elephant standing in the middle of the parlor at a cocktail party. Everybody is embarrassed that it's there, so they talk about last weekend's party, how much they love so-and-so's shoes, and how nasty the weather is tonight, all the while trying their best to ignore the elephant, who happens to be totally stinking up the place, and getting in the way.

And I'm sick of it. From now on, I am pointing at the elephant and saying "HEY! There's an elephant in the house! Does anybody want to ride on it with me?" If there's going to be an elephant in the room, we might as well take advantage of it.

So how does this translate? Well, if I like a girl, I'm probably going to tell her so. If my roommate is going to buy some seriously hideous pants, I'm going to stop him. When I do something really dumb in front of everyone, I'm not going to cover it up. I'm going to point at it and say "Wow. Let's make a list of things never to do again and put that at the top."

You're asking yourself, where does he get these ideas? Weirdly enough, I got it from a TV sitcom: the Office. In season three, Pam follows a star-crossed path riddled with emotional scandals and disappointments, and finally, at the end of the season, she musters up the courage and tells Jim how she really feels. Not only does she speak up, but she totally does it in front of everyone; Not in a spirit of pleading or desperation, but in perfect control and poise, she says exactly what she feels. And she changes Jim's future.

It was dope. And I want to do it. I've got a few "what ifs" in my life, a few elephants in my room, and frankly, it's been getting crowded in here. Last week I shooed one out with Rachel, and seriously, I felt alive. Granted, the subject matter of our conversation wasn't something anything a boy ever looks forward to talking about (that's right... relationships)... but to be honest, it was one of the better conversations I've had in a long time and I left feeling empowered, satisfied, single, and oh so happy. Shoving an elephant anywhere takes a considerable amount of effort, and once you're done you've still got some elephant poop to shovel up, but the source is no longer a problem.

So there you have it. The Elephant in the Room.

1 comment:

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