New Moon Preview (Harry Potter Premiere Continued)

I have to say, this was possibly my favorite part of the premiere. Girls can be crazy!

And this post comes with a disclaimer: I really do like girls. Hands down I think more about girls than anything else. I suspect this is true of all boys. However, girls under the influence of Twilight - that's a different story:

As the anticipation mounted for the opening scenes of Harry Potter, the previews began. Without warning, a screeching, frenzied hyena yell burst forth from all around me, threatening to deafen us unsuspecting moviegoers. Every girl in the theatre between 13 and 30 began hyperventilating in unison as the words "New Moon" and a topless werewolf-guy flashed across the screen:


At that moment in my life, girls were very unattractive to me. I hope you’re taking notes.

Wishing to be anywhere but in that theatre, I stomached the rest of the preview like I would my grandmother's home-made spinach dip, and in the ensuing silence - punctuated by maniacal girlish tittering - I smiled and shamelessly burst out, "HE'S NOT REAL!"

Bad move, Spencer. Should have thought ahead. The frightening similarity between girls and banshees deepened as groups of them yelled out in rabid, foaming fury, "HE'S BETTER THAN YOU!" and "HE'S WAY SEXIER!" etc. etc.



While all this is probably true, my mischevious outburst is no less correct than yours, my frenzied females. Here in the real world we are dreadfully vampire and werewolf free - and I’m afraid that your steamy sex icons simply do not exist in real life. Keep those swiftly beating hearts in check, my dears, and have the sense not to invite me to that movie.

Another mormon man with similar feelings has also posted his take on the subject of Twilight. He says it better than I do.