The Business of Relationships - Social Currency

At the very basic sense, relationships can boil down to a business transaction.  When you meet somebody of the opposite sex, you must ask yourself (and answer) some very basic questions:

1) Are we talking about a romantic relationship?

2) Are you interested in me?

3) Lastly (but definitely not least), am I interested in you?

If we're answering "yes" to these questions, we can start to draw parallels between relationships and businesses:

1) Are we doing business?

2) Do I have something you want?

3) Do you have something I want?

Interestingly, when people get married, the credit score of the male almost always increases.  There's a business transaction for you.

However, what I want to focus on in this post is the matter of "social currency."  I'm trying to reproduce the gist of a conversation from KN, who offered these insights.  I don't totally agree with the analogy, but it does shed some interesting light on the subject.  With some expansions of my own, here are some thoughts on social currency:

Cash:  It's fast, it's easy, and almost everybody accepts it.  It's the most basic, visible form of currency.  This is your appearance and presentation.  Everybody seems to like it and to understand it.


Also, cash is easy to steal, and you're asking for trouble if you start flashing it about indiscriminately.  If you market yourself only on your appearance and presentation, you might get the wrong kind of attention (i.e. you might become the victim of repeated "social robberies:" a subject for another post altogether).


Credit:  Probably the most complex part of the analogy.  Almost everybody accepts at least some form of credit, though if you think of cards like American Express, you can't use it just anywhere.  My Sinclair Card gets me great deals, but it can only be used at Sinclair gas stations.  Credit, says KN, is an allegory to your personality.  Whatever it is, your personality will never fit with everybody, and it might take a little looking around to find a place where your personality is accepted.


Also, have you noticed that some of the cards with the greatest benefits are also restricted in their use?  The same may go for personalities - the more powerful of a personality you have, the more you may have to look to find somebody that really "gets you."  That's not necessarily a good or a bad thing, it's just the way it is.  Now, we know that credit is no good unless there is some cash to back it up.  Applying our analogy, if you don't take care of the basics of your appearance (cash), no matter how great your personality is (credit), you will never find a "social buyer" and thus a stable relationship.  You don't need a lot of money to have a good credit score, you just need to be wise with what you've got.


Savings Account:  If you know how to use a savings account, you rarely touch it, and it's not readily apparent to passersby.  For example, half of America's millionaires have never purchased a watch over $235, a suit over $399, or a pair of shoes over $140, and the car they drive most often is a Ford F-150 or Explorer, not luxury vehicles like Lexus or BMW - taken from "The Millionaire Next Door," which I recommend.  If you're using it right, your savings account accrues in value over your lifetime and helps you out only on milestone purchases (a house, a car, an education) or when you're in between jobs.


Your savings account represents your personal, invisible assets, such as intelligence and talents, and I might add spiritual strength here too.  A strong "savings account" makes for a stable relationship, because it assures you of a strong foundation.  The trouble of the social savings is that it is both the most important aspect of social currency, and the least visible.  This is probably why we proceed forward with caution in relationships.  If you're intelligent, reliable, and spiritually secure, your relationship will stand strong come hell or high water.

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So, you can also ask yourself questions such as "how is my social savings account?"  Do you have passion, drive, are you made of the tough spittle it takes to make a relationship work the way it's supposed to?  And you can also ask yourself what type of social consumer you are:

Cash Only:  Places that take cash only are often the least reputable of business - mobile hot dog vendors, booths at state and county fairs, seedy knock-off brand salesmen on the streets of manhattan, etc.  If you buy something here and it breaks immediately, you're still not going to get your money back


 Don't be a cash only consumer - focusing only on the physical aspect of your love interests will only bring you swift and meager returns followed by confusion and emotional pain.  Don't get me wrong, I like myself a good hot dog occasionally, but if that's all I ate, I'd be contracting heart diseases like my freshly washed car attracts bird poop.

Credit, and Credit Only:  If a business is taking credit, they tend to be more well-established and usually more trustworthy.  You can bet they probably have a business license.  Some very classy institutions, such as hotels, will only take credit.


What kinds of credit do you take?  That decision is definitely up to you, and as you approach relationships with appreciation for personalities, you will find there is a great deal more to a person than their "cash value."  Relationships become much more meaningful when you connect on a deeper level than raw physical attraction.

Savings and Investments:  The type of purchases made with savings and investments rank among the most meaningful of your entire life - i.e. your education, your home, and your transportation.  By the time you're ready to make these kinds of non-fluid investments, you're ready to commit yourself to the purchase, hoping that the returns are likely to exceed the sacrifice.  This kind of investment in a relationship is akin to marriage - the deepest commitment.  If you and your love interest have a solid "social savings" account, you'll have a lot to draw from when the tough times come.


Lastly, might I mention that good relationships will probably draw from all three categories.  Like many things, balance is the key.