For Clay.

Things are about to get a little crazy in my life, so I thought that even though I don't feel prepared to write this post, now is the time. This is - uncharacteristic of me - a somber post.

People tell me that I have a good way with words, but I always feel that when it really matters, I never express myself in the way I mean it. If this is a little choppy, forgive me.

There are a lot of people in the world. A lot. They've got as many different problems as you can imagine. For me, last year was one of the hardest years I've ever experienced, and I wondered often how I'd ever make it through. At times I was unbearably lonely, and wondered occasionally if I had depression. My classes were overwhelming, I missed my friends back home, and I was having a hard time adjusting to college life. I can tell you - a year later - that eventually the clouds do part and the sun shines again. If you wait long enough, and if you show a little faith, Heavenly Father will always come through for you. All you have to do is keep on enduring.

If you feel like you're alone, take a minute to sit down with your friends and open up your heart to them - they are your friends because they love you, because they will always have time for you, and because it hurts them to see you unhappy. Feelings of depression, anxiety, doubt, fear, and hopelessness are never warranted and never divine. Please recognize that these feelings are not coming from God. I hope that you will never decide on suicide as a way to solve your problems. It is a tragic and desperate move; Make no mistake, if anybody of us saw this coming, we'd drop anything to come to your rescue.

Clay, you were close to my friends, but never as close to me. When we went to the same parties and get-togethers, I was always jealous of your smile, of the way you carried yourself. You had a reputation for being exceptionally kind and thoughtful, for making small but intimate sacrifices for those you loved. You were remarkable, and we miss you already - you've changed our lives. I hope that things are working out for you on the other side. We're holding together as best we can down here.

Miss You. Love You. God Bless You.